Monday, December 3, 2012

Letting Go

Andrew is 10. It shouldn't be so hard. But it is harder than I thought.

Today is my birthday, but I can't stop thinking about how I wish Andrew was home to celebrate with me. (Selfish..I know..but at least I am being honest)

I should be happy that he is growing up. I should be happy that he is having fun. I should be happy...

But what happened to my baby? Time can be so cruel. 

Over the weekend, Andrew left with his class for Science Camp. He was so excited about his first time away from home, and I was so happy for him too. I knew that I would miss him while he was gone - I just had no idea that I would miss him this much.

I miss his voice, I miss his smell, I miss his laughter, I miss his smile.

I have spent most of the day reflecting on him being gone, and realized that, in a blink of an eye, he will be gone forever. Soon he will be boarding that bus for College - not just science camp. 

I know that time is fragile - but I feel it more now than ever.

I need to commit more of my time to celebrating all the small moments with him. While reflecting on our relationship - it is not the trips to amusement parks or vacations that keep coming to my mind - but the small moments. The moments when we were digging a hole together on the beach, racing hot wheels down the banister or going down the slide together. 

As a parent, I need to cherish more of the smaller moments together - I need to make every moment with him count.

Soon he will be home in my arms again. Just as fast as he has grown-up he will be home again. I know that he will be different because I was different after leaving home for the first time. I look forward to cherishing all the changes in him that will develop while he is gone without the shelter of his parents. 

My only hope that when he does leave for College that we gave him all the life skills he needs to be happy and successful. From the deep of my heart, I pray that we are building a strong enough foundation of love inside of him that he will grow-up to make a difference in the world.

That he will grow-up to be happy. 


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